Frail Heart

Falling in love is something that I cannot control. The person afflicted with this emotion cannot distinguish infatuation and genuine love. A passion and a need to be around a person aura, eats away my soul. My thoughts cannot be contained within the script of a page, nor can I freely express it these days. Suppressed feelings are the norm of this life or is it the norm for the person afraid of hurt? Isolation seems to be the only remedy at times, for I am unable to hurt others and there are no expectations. Low self-esteem is what I diagnose or could it be depression? With so many choices and avenues, my feelings can be leaky, seeping into the feeling of frustration, confusion or regret. There is almost no way of sifting or distilling the emotion when mixed, but hoping that one dies.

My emotions are distorted. I cannot tell what I am or not feeling. Leaky emotions would always lead to this confusion, but one would eventually die making the mix more distinguishable. What should I feel or allow myself to feel? What is the feeling I longed to feel? Frozen love is meant to be broken and the heat from the broken love would melt away the pain as it flows throw my eyes. I am too scared to feel. To scared of my frozen love breaking. My vessels to my heart are linked to this love and mind is one with this love. If it were broken, my soul would dissolve into the nothingness of the world. With the power of my mind, my love is buried deep within my analysis of logical preservation to avoid mental and emotional death.