Via Vision

Thoughts flow like a river and here is the place in which the river becomes a waterfall.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Rugged Gem

I believed I met the person who understood me and all that things that I believed they shared. I believed that this person was worth the change for I have yet to find another that saw the world as I have seen it. This person was a gem in my eyes. One of a kind. This person was the person I was looking for all of my life. I have only met this person twice in my life and I was grateful beyond belief to meet this person again. I felt complete and happiness filled my existence like never before.

            Time passed and the person that was a gem undid all the things that they claim they were.  This person made me believe that they shared the same values and insight that they once claim when we first met. This person; the gem, continued to reflect the behavior of my feelings towards me.  But this behavior was not a reflection of their feelings. This continued for a while. And during that time this person betrayed and abused my trust four times. This person was supposed to be my friend. The friend I long for, the friend that was promised when I first met them.

            The first time my trust was betrayed I was stricken with a pain that cannot be described by words. I could not think or sleep. The part of me that was given to them was being abused and each moment the part of me that lingered in them betrayed me and my soul was attacked. Hate was growing but the hate was from the hurting of my soul.

            The next time my trust was betrayed I pretended that I was being overly critical and harsh and this gem made me believe that I was. It wasn’t too long after this betrayal that my gem betrayed me again. The time that I needed the gem the most it did not shine nor did it glittered. It lost all of the luster that I saw before. The gem sacrificed the friendship we had for another. I was again hurt but I overlooked it because I blindly cared for the gem that did not care for me but made me believe it did.

            Then, their was the final betrayal. The one that injured my soul and the one that shattered my reality. The betrayal that opened my eyes to all of the cracks and imperfection of this gem. The betrayal that revealed that I was enchanted by just a rugged stone. This rugged stone purposely and with full intentions placed everything that I thought we had on the burner and burnt it without mercy. My soul wept. My soul cracked and all that made me whole was taken away from me. Every second, of every minute and every minute of every hour that this gem betrayed me my soul died. The hurt that I felt generated hate. The hate then made me hurt more and the hurt generated more hate. I saw the pieces of the rugged stone inside my gem before and I ignored it. I foolishly believed that it was a gem. 

            This gem was not a gem from the beginning and from the beginning I was enchanted by a rugged stone. But, now that rugged stone holds the gem that I created inside of it.


The One That Was Once

The one I believe that was the one for me wasn’t.

The one that was once for me lied to me.

The one that was once for made me think that I was also the one.

The one that was once for me fooled me for a long time.

The one that as once for me played me like a fool.

The one that was once for me wasn’t my friend the whole time.

The one that was once for me was searching for others while with me.

The one that was once for me used all that I can give to find others.

The one that was once for me took part of me.

The one that was once for me never cared for me.

The one that was once for me seek only its benefit.

The one that was once for me is heartless.

The one that was once for me still has a place in my heart.

The one that was once for me I wish was never the one for me.