Sand Bank

I come here ever so often. The small flat sand bank in the middle of nowhere. I don't know how arrive at this small island of sand, but it seems as if I was lead to this place. As usual the coconut tree stood alone near the edge of the shore. The sky was cloudy as if a storm is coming. Its always the same, the wind begins to blow violently and the waves grow in size. The clouds darken with anger and the lonely coconut tree leaves flap with the streams of the violent wind. But the waves never crash against the shore of the sand bank and the wind ;though very strong, is unable move me. When fear fills my mind, someone in the not to far distance always appear. Even though my vision is clear, the person in the distance takes the form of a silhouette. The wind continues to blow violently and the waves quickly passes along the sides of the island.

Lightning cracked the smokey sky and when the tears of the heavens are about to pour it all comes to an end. It never rains on the sand bank. The place, the waves, the clouds and the island always disappears just when I think the rain is about to fall. Meaning can be found within the mystery of the sand bank, but the meaning is not known to me.

Change

Joyfully we browse through the designer house catalog, selecting houses that we hope to live in when we grow up. Unaware of the complications of owning a house, we collectively plan and assign rooms to each other. We talked about the placement of pictures, the furniture and whether or not we would have a pool. Everything is make believe and it is the reality that we have accepted since birth. The real world has no meaning to us and the only reality that mattered is ours. Things isn't viewed as collection of parts but as a whole. The intricacies of the whole had no meaning.Our thoughts flew as far as our understanding allow. As far as we know, this is the way life would be as long as we live.

Well that was the reality for me as a child. It was a reality that I wouldn't mind having today. Julie,Glowdyne and I were unaware of our sexuality. It wasn't on our minds and we didn't feel or see it. We all looked at each other as a person and nothing more. Things changed as we grew older and move apart. Our changing bodies tainted our outlook on life and the things that weren't a distraction before now were. I haven't seen or heard from them since we move onto Secondary school. It would be interesting to see how much we have changed since our early school years. The question I keep asking myself even to this day is “Why do we lose our innocence?”. Is the awareness of the part we play in sex th entity that strip us of our innocence? I grow older everyday but my mind still wonders like a child. Probably we are all children with adult layers and some of us may have so much adult layers that we forget the who or what we are.

Myself

Normally I am too ashame to express myself. The very essence of my identity is comprimised when certain aspects of my personality is leaked through any medium. How long can one hold on to their identity? The burying of emotions seems like the only way to protect the delicate person I call myself. Time is the only thing that would corrode the walls that protect me from the acidic world. Slowly the person that is trapped inside would begin to reveal itself. That day is coming, but no-one; not even myself, knows when that day would come. Its the key of completion that is need to crack and shatter the walls that protect myself. The key is out there and the key would find the lock, even if it takes a lifetime.

The Castles on the Edge

Tall green grass tower over me and the blue sky is seen through the blades. I can feel the cool ground on my back and the smaller grass piercing through my clothes. The slight discomfort couldn't surpass the joy of laying in the fields and enjoying the simplicity of the day and life itself. The wind gently push the tips of the grass to and fro, and as they sway I can hear the rustling when they rub against each other. With my eyes close, I begin to dream of worlds beyond our universe.

Blue waters shimmering with light of the cool white sun gracefully presents the castle islands. Each castle is carefully crafted out of a stone that was unknown to me. The designs and curves of the walls and columns were beyond the explaination of the words I have been taught. Blue and white stones has never been so beautifully accented together .

Flying magically across the foreign ocean, I see more castles. And the more I see the more I am in awe by their beauty. If only I can capture just one picture of my dream to show people the wonders that I am witnessing. When you think you have seen it all, there is always something that takes your breathe away. My breath is not the only thing cowering to the castles' beauty, but my mind is seeing things that were beyond my comprehension and understanding. How can one explain the unexplainable? Even though I am able to relate to what I am seeing, I am unable to relate it to others. For the castles has qualities that were not experienced by man and without that experience, it cannot be related until more people experience it for themselves. Until then, I will joyfully consume the moment while it last.

Oh Monday

Another wonderful day is upon me. The sky is blood red, the darkened sun is nestled on the horizon and the temperature is comfortably below freezing. Oh wait! The sky is baby blue with puffy white clouds, the sun is shining and the temperature is finally going to be above freezing. So what is my problem? Its Monday. Oh how I enjoy coming to work after a great weekend. The monotony of the daily job is what I longed to embrace. Luckily, this sulkiness would depart as the day chogs along and the accpetance of the everyday stale work life would sink in. Until then, I would feel sad for myself and whine like loser in my mind.